Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
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