I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
