ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Randomize
