so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
