I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
