So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
