Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
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