They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
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