We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
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