I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
