Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
