Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
