I swear she didn't look like that last week.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Randomize
