And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize
