i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
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