11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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