Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
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