i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
