Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize