Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
Even my vagina gasped.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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