He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
Randomize
