theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
How external is "for external use only"?
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
