Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Randomize
