This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Randomize
