I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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