is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
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