i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
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