is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Randomize
