I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
Randomize
