i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
