I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
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