I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Randomize
