return my video game
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
Randomize
