haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
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