I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
