i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
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