I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
I AM VODKA MAN
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
