your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Randomize