So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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