on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Randomize
