wakey wakey hands off snakey
Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Randomize
