tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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