They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
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