I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
He did a backflip because drugs
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
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