i think my tv is drunk
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
