Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
wow bdsm is so cute
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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