I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize
