Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
Randomize
