We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Randomize
