the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
I want you more than these girls want KFC
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
I think I just sharted jello shots
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
