I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
Randomize