im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
He keeps bees of course he's weird
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
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