At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
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