I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Randomize
