; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
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