Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
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