Sponge bath it is.
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Randomize
