do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Randomize
