why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
Randomize
