Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
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