It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Randomize