Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
