Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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