Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
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