I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
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